Signs That You’re a Shopaholic

We are constantly surrounded by stuff. The things that we surround ourselves with, whether it’s our gadgets, cherished heirlooms, or assorted knickknacks that bring color to our lives, often serve a positive function in our lives. We can, however, seek to use our stuff to find comfort and significance in ways that things can’t provide. In other words, it’s possible to have an unhealthy relationship with the things you own.

Sometimes, the pitfall with owning things exists much earlier, in the process of acquiring things itself. The act of buying things can itself become a form of unhealthy coping, and it’s important to be able to recognize it in yourself or a loved one. There is help available if you or your loved one struggles with a compulsion to buy things.

What is a Shopaholic?

The word ‘shopaholic’ isn’t a technical term, but it gets used often enough that it’s in our lexicon. Often, when someone describes themselves as a shopaholic, it’s with a sheepish grin or a chuckle to hide some discomfort. We live in a consumer society, and most of us probably buy more things than we need, and are aware that our buying and spending habits could use some moderation. Being a shopaholic, however, is more than this.

The technical term to properly describe being a shopaholic is “oniomania”. This term refers to compulsive shopping, which can also be called a shopping addiction. A person with a shopping addiction will buy things and feel like they have no control over this behavior, and that is why such shopping is rightly described as compulsive. Shopping addiction is a form of behavioral addiction that includes things such as shopping and gambling.

People who buy things compulsively do so in different ways and for different reasons. Some people buy compulsively when they experience emotional distress, and they shop to soothe those feelings. Others shop to project a particular image, while still others shop for the perfect item, whatever it might be.

Some compulsive shoppers are bargain hunters who buy things simply because they’re on sale and others who shop as a means of collecting things and feeling a sense of completion in putting together a set of items. Thus, there are many ways in which a shopping or buying compulsion might manifest and different impulses at play.

Some Causes of Compulsive Shopping

It’s not known exactly what causes compulsive shopping or shopping addiction, though several factors may play a role. As noted earlier, compulsive shopping is a behavioral addiction that often involves buying to feel good and avoid dealing with emotional distress directly. Buying something new can give a person a feeling of achievement, and it can divert from dealing with life issues.

Another possible cause of compulsive shopping behavior is that our society primes people to be consumers and to handle their problems by buying things. Not only that, but the advertising that bombards us, whether on social media, as we watch the movies, or on the internet, tells us that we’ll feel better if we buy this brand of toothpaste, or find ourselves being considered attractive if only we use this particular fragrance.

One might also lean into compulsive buying if materialism is a factor. Jesus said that “life does not consist in an abundance of possessions” (Luke 12:15, NIV), but people are often caught in the trap of trying to measure their lives by what they own and seeking to garner status, meaning, and purpose that way. It can be difficult to resist the impulse to buy things if we feel our sense of self connected to those things.

If a person’s personality is marked by low self-esteem, being polite and kindhearted, lonely, and isolated, they may lean toward using shopping to seek out contact with other people. These factors might contribute to a person becoming a compulsive shopper.

Signs Of Compulsive Shopping

We all find ourselves in a situation, whether at the grocery store or online, where we have stuff in our cart that we know probably shouldn’t be there. We don’t need it, and it’s just possible that we should walk away without buying anything altogether. How do you identify a shopping addiction and differentiate it from impulse buying, for instance, when you just buy something on the spur of the moment?

Some of the signs of compulsive shopping are below. These are:

Buying things without ever using them

There are likely items you’ve bought that you have never used, and likely never will. The purchase wasn’t to satisfy an actual need, such as when you buy new clothes because what you have doesn’t fit or is getting worn out.

Struggling to meet other, significant financial obligations

When your purchasing habits mean you struggle to meet needs such as food, rent, utilities, or health insurance, it’s a problem. You might also find yourself opening new lines of credit without paying off the old ones, finding yourself in debt because of your shopping.

Constantly thinking about making purchases

If your mind is always on the things you intend to buy, that could indicate a compulsive shopping problem.

Being unable to stop yourself from shopping

If you find yourself shopping despite knowing you shouldn’t, and if you find you simply can’t help yourself, that could also point to a shopping addiction. Something as simple as a price reduction is justification enough to buy something.

Experiencing excitement, or a temporary rush of euphoria after buying something

In other words, shopping acts a little like how drugs work, giving you a flood of neurochemicals that boost your mood. Often, the shopping happens when feeling stressed or sad.

Feeling regret or guilt about purchases

Once the purchase has been made, it’s followed by feelings of remorse, but it may also be accompanied by lying about purchases made, including how much they cost and whether they bought them at all.

Feeling discontent without a complete set

Often, a person with a shopping addiction will not feel content until they complete the set items, whether Tupperware, crockery, or any other item. These items aren’t necessarily needed or used practically.

Finding Help For Compulsive Shopping

If you’re struggling with compulsive shopping, it can have a significant impact on your finances and in other areas of life as well. A shopping addiction can take time away from other pursuits, affecting your overall well-being. It’s important to find ways to cope with distress so that you don’t rely on shopping to help deal with difficult circumstances.

Having a clear spending plan can help you to keep your finances in check, as well as limit the purchases you can make. This will likely require accountability so that you stick to your budget, and not subvert your plan. Perhaps another member of your family can be responsible for the finances, or for doing the grocery shopping so that you don’t need to be in retail spaces or in a position where the need to buy things can be easily satisfied.

You can cultivate coping strategies such as having a hobby that takes up your leisure time. instead of turning to shopping to fill your hours, do something outdoors by yourself or with loved ones, and choose that to help you overcome distressing feelings.

Limiting how much access you have to resources such as cash or credit cards can also help to restrict your ability to buy things, whether impulsively or compulsively. If you also avoid shopping with others who have the same compulsive shopping habits, that could help in curbing your spending and developing new, healthier patterns of spending.

You can also deal with compulsive shopping by getting financial counseling. A financial advisor or consultant at your bank can work with you to discuss options that are available so that your access to resources is limited, and so that you can begin paying off your debt. Your funds could be put into a savings account with limits to when you can access it so that it’s harder to feed the compulsion.

Lastly, talk therapy, or psychotherapy, can help with addressing compulsive shopping. Compulsive shopping can result from having an underdeveloped capacity to handle distress constructively, and your counselor can help you develop healthy coping strategies. Also, there may be an emotional underpinning to the shopping addiction that your counselor can help you understand.

Your counselor can help you overcome leaning on shopping as a coping mechanism, and they can also walk with you as you develop a healthier relationship with money and stuff. In some cases, a shopping addiction can cause damage to relationships with others, and it’s important to find healing for these relationships, including making amends. If you are struggling with compulsive shopping or a shopping addiction, reach out today for help.